Thursday, December 17, 2015

Very Long time gone from blogging and dealing with thoracic outlet syndrome

Hello to all my friends. If you are still out there I'm so sorry I have been gone. It's been a very long time and to be honest I never been able to blog like I wanted to since I started blogging.To start I never thought I was going to get so sick and have two surgeries and fight to have a normal life to be there for my Son and my family.I want to share a part of my story and hope you all can understand why I been gone. I had my first surgery Nov of 2014. But a week before my grandpa passed away but I could not move the date of my surgery. I was so heart broken but i went on with the surgery, Couple of days after I got out of the hospital for almost a week in there, I went to grandpa's funeral. My dear cousin came over to help me get ready because I was in so much pain. I had a pain pump that was put in me to control the pain . But it looked like a purse an ugly purse. I was so happy my cousin was there for me that day.

After that it was a long recovery time. I know I would have to set the date for my second surgery because you can't do both arms at the same time. I can explain why I had surgeries in a simple way because it's a long story. I have thoracic outlet syndrome with I talked about before here before.I was getting no blood flow to both arms and it causes great pain. If I was not to have the surgeries I was in high rick to get blood clots also and lose my arms. Also the pain was getting worse everyday and I made the choose to do this because everything else I tried to control the pain did not work.

So I want back ro work in Jan 2015 but part time. But my other arm was getting worse and I needed to have surgery again. So I had surgery in April 2015, I had Julian 4th B day party early so I can enjoy it for him. Mean while I told my job of almost 10 years I needed to have surgery again and they let me go due to me leaving to have surgery. I was so upset and now I have no job. But that's another story. I went forward with surgery and I was the hospital for a whole week. So again the recovery time was long.

I wanted to share my story so many times but I felt I was just sharing I'm sick again no one wants to keep hearing that and I was dealing with my dear grandpa passing and my family was dealing with me because I could not take care of myself and my partner did not support me like I wanted it was had for him and did not know who to deal with me being ill for so long... So its better now and days but it's hard a times. I lost friends during this time and family members did not understand what was going on. It was hard you want to tell your loves ones whats going on but I was trying to deal with all of this myself. So I stopped blogging and everything else. Just keep to myself and started to heal even more and focus on my family.

So this past Nov a year and couple days after grandpa passed my best friend my grandma passed away. now my world is upside down. I just want to know why so much pain in the last couple of years. Because in between the passing of them I had other family members pass. I share all of this because I decided to keep my blog going on for real this time. I want to share my story with everyone and hope to help anyone. Grandma and grandpa would not want me to give up. They were great and always supported me with anything I did. I just want to really share my story and things I enjoy. My blog is going to change a bit. Julian will still be in my blog but now I want to share my story in more detail and tell everyone no matter what there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm got many things I'm thinking about to share. When I get a better idea of how I'm going to share I will let you know. I do plan i changing the design of the blog again and start fresh in the next month or two. I also will be back to reading all my blogger friends blogs again because I do miss reading all of your blogs. Gives me great joy to see how everyone as been doing and watching everyone grow.

Again Thank you for reading and supporting me and hope you can stuck around with me and my new journey.  xoxo Nicole

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Today is May 20th A month after my second surgery. living with Thoracic outlet syndrome(TOS) (update)

Hello my friends today is one month to the day I had my second surgery it was on April 20 2015.
It as been a long road. I'm still recovering and have a lot of pain. But in time it will get better. Everything just needs time to heal. It's going to take months. But this time around I can walk before on the first surgery this time I could not walk normal at all. I would drag my feet slow because I was so weak. I'm weak but better then the first time. I'm so happy to have my life back. Ready to be there for Julian like I really want. Ready for him to see a healthy mamma.  Its hard to type right now because my left side hurts really bad. But I wanted to tell everyone I'm ok and thank for your sweet comments and support. Its been hard but I'm happy and I would  do it all over again, before if i thought about the future all I could think about is the pain in my body. Now I think of all the things I can't wait to do and looking forward to spending good times with Julian and loved ones. Because my pain is better and in time will be gone, Before I did not know if it was ever going to go. Now I have hope. Doctor says he is amazed on how I look now. When I first came to him I looked sad and broken. Now I have a glow and you can see happiness in my face. Thank you again and I'm happy to share my story and help anyone. Day by day that all you have to do.
This is before my first Surgery I had 11-10-2014. This was at my worse.

Hospital room after my second surgery 

My heart monitor they had to keep close eye on my heart rate
because they removed
about an inch of my first left rip and were working close to my heart

My table what I mess. My flower Julian and Nana give me so cute.

couple days after still in the hospital.. lol look a mess

still a mess 

My bed I sleep in for 5 days. 5 long days trying to sleep. But it my last day

This was about a little more then a week ago. Julian completes 1st Year preschool. We were so happy

The reason I shared my pictures was because no matter what you go through it will get better . Everyday is still hard but like I said I finally look forward to the future was no pain. I'm not there yet but it will come...  HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT DAY ..POST REAL SO AGAIN

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Saturday, April 4, 2015

I'm back for sure got some good news .. living with Thoracic outlet syndrome(TOS)

I had my first Surgery was in November on my right arm again I have Thoracic outlet syndrome with to define it easier is it is Thoracic outlet syndrome is a group of disorders that occur when the blood vessels or nerves in the space between your collarbone and your first rib (thoracic outlet) become compressed. This can cause pain in your shoulders and neck and numbness in your fingers.

So when I went in for surgery they cut about an Inch and a half of my right rib. Once it was cut my blood flow in that arm started to run down my right arm. All my blood was compressed. My right side was compressed on my vein and artery.. Causing me to have pain in arm , neck and shoulders and numbness in my fingers. Also a deep pain in my arm.. Its hard to describe. Like someone is holding your arm as hard as they can and they will not let go. So much pressure I feel and I get so tired and my whole body feels weak. But like I said I got my right side done and I do not feel that great pressure anymore. I do feel the numbness but its a different numbness there are nerves I never used before and now are working. every week I get more feeling back in my arm. Right now I almost have all my feeling back. Their also numbness in my tummy because the doctor told me the nerves are all connected on the right side. But I can bear it now. 

Back to my good news I going to have my second surgery in May. The same thing is happening on both sides but they can only do one side at a time... I'm so happy I'm just ready to get past all this. Its been a long journey. Another thing I had to stop working the pain is getting worse on my left side and my right side is still healing. Its been bitter sweet I was with the company for almost 10 years. But It was something I to do to focus on my health and spending time with Julian and Daddy.  

This is a start for me to just rest and like I said spend time with my loved one's. I still can do everything normal I just have to pace myself everyday. Its been great taking Julian to preschool and going to my sister graduation. I have been loving staying home and just enjoying life. This Time I have time to blog more and capture things I love ans share was all my blogging friends. I know I said it before but I was getting so tired from (TOS) I could not but now I'm home and have time to do what I love. So please stick with me. It means the world to me. I would love to share some great moments from the past couple of weeks with Julian ........Love you guys.

Julian Preschool

Making mama a picture 

bowling time

ready for my fireman Photo shoot lol

ride the pony

mama coffee it was great 

chef Julian 

another check up.. but hanging in 
Cute bunny 
tractor .. Julian loves tractors 

pony again 

Thank you for spending some time with us and if anyone got questions about (TOS) leave me a comment or email me.. I will be happy to help you if I can...       love love

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Friday, March 13, 2015

Products I loved When Julian Was A Baby !!

Julian loved Gerber Puffs if we ran out he would  cry.  He was  addicted to him. I loved them so much . Now Julian is
on to Gold fish(but Walmart got Penguins and they are cheaper and Julian loves them)Walgreens got their brand also that is good. By the way I'm going to do my first Walgreens haul so look for that very soon. I can not wait to try some new products. 
I used every Diaper rash cream I can think of and this one works the best. Other creams
dried Julian skin and the rash did not go away.  With Aquaphor his rash was
gone less then an hour. I still use it when Julian got a runny nose and it gets
dry around his nose. Also on his checks when they get flushed. love it!

I was so scared of putting teething gel on Julian that was not natural Because other gels that are not
natural and have benzocaine to help soothe sore gums but is not safe for children under 2. I loved Hyland's. Their whole brand is great.
Sophie  Giraffe all Natural teething toy. Rubber is natural and safe  for babies. Julian loved it and it really helped
soothe is gums............ best ever 

Fisher Price Sleeper and rocker. I used it when Julian was small  and  its turns
into a rocking chair when he became a toddler. We still uses when he watches T.V.  and rocks back and forth lol
Boppy Nursing Pillow. This pillow made it so much easier when nursing  made Julian and I way more comfy. He will uses it for a pillow lol. HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING A GREAT DAY TELL ME YOUR FAV BABY PRODUCTS :o)

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Wednesday, March 4, 2015


These days it is so hard to blog all the time like I want but my health is getting better everyday. I'm going to be doing my second surgery on my left arm in a couple weeks because their is blockage of blood flow on that side also. But positive thinking. I don't want to make myself feel like I don't feel good all the time. I feel fine just hurting pains from healing along the way. lol. But I wanted to post some different things Julian and I are just loving right now.

Julian Loving
Transformer Rescue bots toys and cartoon show. Julian says he wants to be an EMT or a Fireman. So rescue bots is the closest to helping people for him. lol.Believe me he also watches all the movies all the time. Over and over again. lol..

Julian also into playing with any kind of trucks, trucks, trucks. He is eating a lot of pea's and toast. Sounds funny he just loves toast with butter. He likes tea from Teavana just like mama. We also been playing around with Play-Doh.. His Nana got him some and now he is hooked. She even found fun Play-Doh tools at Goodwill to make fun things with the dough. Daddy been loving it also. lol.

Books- We have been reading so much books if any one knows anymore good books for a 3 year old about to be 4. I would love to hear from you.

Next mama's things I have been loving

My Nutribullet- love love love. After I had surgery I wanted to make sure I eat more veggies and just be more healthy. Just make one a day and it makes me have more energy and just feel better. I hope in the coming weeks to start using it even more. More info on the Nuribullet I love it because it makes makes great healthy drinks.

I'm really into watching the Wahlburgers. They are so funny

last but not least I have been trying to take care of myself better. For years of not feeling well and then on top of it my surgery. I was started to feel really bad about my self. Years ago before I had Julian and got sick I used to dress up all the time and to my make up. Shopping I loved and I did my hair. It's been hard but I'm trying to take better care of my self. Not that is all life it about and my son is my world. Day by Day :O)

So I been also watching YouTube Videos on different Beauty products and EOS lip balm. They smell so good and it makes my lips feel so soft and it taste good on your lips. 

Happy Hump day my friends and and tell me some things your are loving.

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Monday, February 16, 2015

Valentine's Day

Julian and I had a Great V Day. Daddy had to work but they made me a card and got me flowers. It was a nice day. I got them candy and cute little stuffed monkey and bear. Julian , Daddy and I also made a Valentine's box for Julian preschool class. It was so cute he signed all his cards for his friends. The cards he got from his friends were also so cute. He got a box stuffed with cards lol . Here are so pictures from our nice day.

cards we made

Julian fav truck. It photo bombed us lol

On V day night. Just missing Daddy 

Friday, January 16, 2015

some cute photos from christmas

Here is some pics they are late but better then never. Julian had a great Christmas. I'm still in recovery its taking a long time. But everyday is a bit hard with my pain. But I need to just get up in go if I do not I will be in pain all day. Need to keep the body moving. I now understand just try not to stress the small things. With everything I have been going through its not worth it. If the dishes are not washed they will be soon. lol My Christmas tree is still up but I will take it down this week. It makes us happy. Wish I could put another tree up. An year around tree. That would be nice. I wanted to take classes like I have been last couple of years to get my degree in Social work But my family and my health come first.. Hope everyone's having a great day