Thursday, December 17, 2015

Very Long time gone from blogging and dealing with thoracic outlet syndrome

Hello to all my friends. If you are still out there I'm so sorry I have been gone. It's been a very long time and to be honest I never been able to blog like I wanted to since I started blogging.To start I never thought I was going to get so sick and have two surgeries and fight to have a normal life to be there for my Son and my family.I want to share a part of my story and hope you all can understand why I been gone. I had my first surgery Nov of 2014. But a week before my grandpa passed away but I could not move the date of my surgery. I was so heart broken but i went on with the surgery, Couple of days after I got out of the hospital for almost a week in there, I went to grandpa's funeral. My dear cousin came over to help me get ready because I was in so much pain. I had a pain pump that was put in me to control the pain . But it looked like a purse an ugly purse. I was so happy my cousin was there for me that day.

After that it was a long recovery time. I know I would have to set the date for my second surgery because you can't do both arms at the same time. I can explain why I had surgeries in a simple way because it's a long story. I have thoracic outlet syndrome with I talked about before here before.I was getting no blood flow to both arms and it causes great pain. If I was not to have the surgeries I was in high rick to get blood clots also and lose my arms. Also the pain was getting worse everyday and I made the choose to do this because everything else I tried to control the pain did not work.

So I want back ro work in Jan 2015 but part time. But my other arm was getting worse and I needed to have surgery again. So I had surgery in April 2015, I had Julian 4th B day party early so I can enjoy it for him. Mean while I told my job of almost 10 years I needed to have surgery again and they let me go due to me leaving to have surgery. I was so upset and now I have no job. But that's another story. I went forward with surgery and I was the hospital for a whole week. So again the recovery time was long.

I wanted to share my story so many times but I felt I was just sharing I'm sick again no one wants to keep hearing that and I was dealing with my dear grandpa passing and my family was dealing with me because I could not take care of myself and my partner did not support me like I wanted it was had for him and did not know who to deal with me being ill for so long... So its better now and days but it's hard a times. I lost friends during this time and family members did not understand what was going on. It was hard you want to tell your loves ones whats going on but I was trying to deal with all of this myself. So I stopped blogging and everything else. Just keep to myself and started to heal even more and focus on my family.

So this past Nov a year and couple days after grandpa passed my best friend my grandma passed away. now my world is upside down. I just want to know why so much pain in the last couple of years. Because in between the passing of them I had other family members pass. I share all of this because I decided to keep my blog going on for real this time. I want to share my story with everyone and hope to help anyone. Grandma and grandpa would not want me to give up. They were great and always supported me with anything I did. I just want to really share my story and things I enjoy. My blog is going to change a bit. Julian will still be in my blog but now I want to share my story in more detail and tell everyone no matter what there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm got many things I'm thinking about to share. When I get a better idea of how I'm going to share I will let you know. I do plan i changing the design of the blog again and start fresh in the next month or two. I also will be back to reading all my blogger friends blogs again because I do miss reading all of your blogs. Gives me great joy to see how everyone as been doing and watching everyone grow.

Again Thank you for reading and supporting me and hope you can stuck around with me and my new journey.  xoxo Nicole